I know I'm not the first woman to be jerked around by a guy, but even knowing that doesn't help.

I really don't know Will anymore. Over the course of the past two weeks the guy who was once too shy to even talk to me has made out with 12 girls, bedded 1, and felt up another on the dancefloor; all of which he either bragged about to me the next day, or did it in front of me.
I don't know what happened to him over the summer, but the new guy I see now is one I really don't like. Everyday is another taunt, another reminder that I'm just not good enough. It's like he thrives on making me feel bad, and I don't understand why. What happened to make him into such a douche bag?? What happened to the nice guy I liked?? There's nothing left of that guy anymore it seems, instead there's this hurtful, chauvenistic man-whore jerk instead. And I hate it.

Perhaps even worse is that Mark asked me out sunday and I was so shocked I just said yes. But after thinking about it I really need my space right now after this whole Will thing, a relationship that I'm not enthusiastic in would not be a good idea. Mark is really nice but I just don't have any attraction towards him. I've arranged to meet him and talk to him tomorrow and I'm dreading it. Why does Will have to be such a FUCKING jerk? I hope Mark understands and doesnt get mad at me or something. I'm so stressed about all this emotional bullying I'm getting at my house every bloody day, and stressed about talking to Mark etc. GAGH. I hate relationships at uni. They're messed up. DANGNABBIT.

Well I've been putting it off and putting it off but now it's time for another update lol. Uni so far is going well, I have the flu at the moment so I'm trying to get better. I had suck a positive outlook on uni this year and then this flu comes along and gets me down in the dumps. Oh well. It's not just the flu's fault either.

When Will came back, I waited a day until there was an oppertunity to talk together alone. I was hoping he would bring it up, but realized that was futile, so I wrenched by courage to the sticking point and just went for it. I asked him what had happened, and he....sigh what's a nice way of putting it? Ah to hell with niceness, he was a complete dick about it all. I knew he was immature, but I never really realized until that moment just how much. He laughed at me, he insulted me and he literally tore my self esteem to shreds. I never expected it of him, and just like that he morphed into someone ugly to me. He made me feel unwanted, ugly and perhaps worst of all; used. The entire summer and we talked, flirted etc and the minute it all comes face to face he runs away like a coward, hiding behind stupid excuses. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him the same way. I'm not sure I'll ever forgive him. Outwardly we still talk and joke like theres nothing wrong, but beneath I'm a woman scorned, and we all know how dangerous THAT can be lol :P I just couldn't believe him, and I still can't to this day thinking back to some of the things he said.
Then he had the nerve to brag to me about a girl he pulled on wednesday. I was relieved that i felt nothing over it, no jealousy etc it was just him trying to step on my self esteem tatters even more. It's tough too, because Clare doesn't give a damn what I'm feeling because she's too wrapped up in George, which is understandable, but gagh it would be nice to have a friend in this house I could talk to. But I can't tell her anything. It's almost a relief to get out of the house to go to work now because I don't have to hang around my housemates as much. I hate Will so much for making me feel this way. I hate him for not seeing how hurtful he was, for being so selfish, for being so damn STUPID. Blargh blargh blargh. That's life for you. I'll try to maintain my positive outlook, but it gets tough sometimes.

Woah! Liz has finally decided to do another update! :O Shock horror shock horror. Where to begin?

July

Most of July was spent being bored and obsessing over a certain someone, but July 25th-August 1st I spent in Sweden at Haparanda Sandskar bird station,  banding birds voluntarily for a bit of work experience. It was excellent, I'm glad I went. I ended up catching 98 birds out of the nets, and banded 23. By banded I mean I put those metal rings you see around their legs sometimes. It carries a specific number corresponding to that partcular bird, and we have to record wing spans, age, sex, fat content into the log so when the bird is caught again the information can be compared to see if there are any changes. I'm so glad I went but it was tough work in the field, because it was on an island only reachable by a small motorboat. Yes that meant no showers, no flushing toilets, no running water period. Drinking water had to be fetched from wells etc as well as bathing water. It was hard, but it was worth it :)

August

August has been very boring in comparison! I haven't had much to do as I have no friends out here so I'm by myself for the whole summer. The parents have been having problems, but I'll not dwell on it, we're all working it out.
I found out my best friend's step-father was in a serious car accident- he was in a coma, broke his legs, sternum, pelvis and fractured pretty much everything else. Luckily he pulled through and is on the mend but it was scary for a bit there. I plan on visiting him when I go back to England next week; he's like a second dad to me so I really hope he's going to be ok.
The parents bought a car this month, so we've been taking road trips into the surrounding areas which has been great, its lovely to explore where we live and experience the beauty that is Norway!

Last week one of my friends did come to visit which was nice, it kept me busy for a while at least! I hadn't seen her in a while and it was great to finally have some one on one time with her after so long :) 
So this summer has been pretty good overall. Yes i have been bored but have had a good time and also had time to relax which has been great! :)

And I know what you're wondering "What happened with Will??" and the short answer....NOTHING. He hasn't really spoken to me this summer, he's working alot so its been very frustrating for me, but I will possibly be seeing him in two weeks (he might be coming back to sheffield early like me so we may have a week alone in the house together) but I don't know about it, in any case I'm trying to stay patient and calm until I get to see him in person and guage what he made of the whole "you kissed me!" thing, I really don't know what's going to happen, I was so sure we had sorted it all out and we going to be friends but then he pulled that on me. ARGH. Guys can be so frustrating sometimes!!!

So...yeah :) That has been my summer! I probably left some stuff out but meh, my fingers are tired from too much typing and I want to go watch the thunderstorm happening outside! :D

JUST.SAW.NEW.STAR.TREK.FILM.MIGHT.ACTUALLY.DIE.FROM.HAPPINESS.

The last time I felt this hyped up from a film was after the Dark Knight. I just....loved it. Ok so I'm a diehard tv show fan and admittedly I can see why some of the fans were annoyed with it because the films pretty much re-invents the characters, but lets be honest Star Trek really needs reinventing to reach a wider audience. Plus, these new characters are HOT HOT HOTNESS HOT. I want their babies. All of them. Especially Kirk. And Spock. And Bones. And Scotty. HGDGHGDKjnkjBFNJSBFUGFIEGHBVKBHKgkdbghv jb I WISH STAR TREK WAS REAL *cries*
 

I have never felt so geeky, and have never been so proud of my geekyness.

I have become addicted to yet another tv show. RIGHT before exams *sigh* I hadn't really paid much attention to it when it first came out, and that seems to be what I do, I wait a few years to get into something.

SUPERNATURAL IS AWESOME!

I love it :D It's like watching a horror film every episode. It also scares me so bad I feel like peeing my pants most episodes :P But the two main characters are way hot, especially Dean *swoons*
I'm working my way through Season 1, got another 3 to go until I'm caught up with everyone else :P But still I'd reccomend it if you're not a big wuss like I am :P And even if you are go watch iiiiiit!

ITS MA BIRTHDAY YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! :D I'm 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so old :P







SPREAD THE JOY! :D

Erugh, having one of those days where you just lie around the house listlessly, knowing you have things to do but you can't be bothered. Such a lovely day here in Trondheim though, gotta love a bit of sunshine!
Carly left yesterday so it's been weird not having her about after having her living with us for two weeks prior! Was fun to have her here though, just not sure I'd do it again straight away! She's a veggie you see and living off veggie food for two weeks was aggrevating when all I wanted to do was scoff meat because I dont buy it in Sheffield.

Going back to Sheff on Sunday (dont wanna goooo) and egads its my birthday soon YAY! Im gonna be oooold :( 20! Thats two decades! Anyways not much to report really, exams are about 5 weeks away EEEEEEEK and have a lot of work due in in the next two weeks so have that to look forward to. Still sort of seeing Adam, but its nothing serious, maybe when I get back to Sheffield we'll be able to talk more. Meh. In any case life is cruising along as normal, nothing out of the ordinary to report! Sorry lol!

In case you're wondering I crossed out the ones I HAVENT done or dont apply to me. Realized it might seem the other way round after I did it lol!! :P


General

* I am 5'4'' or shorter
* I think I'm ugly.
* I have many scars.
* I tan easily.
* I wish my hair was a different color.
* I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
* I have a tattoo.
* I am self-conscious about my appearance.
* I have/had braces.
* I wear glasses.
* I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
* I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
* I have had more than two piercings.
* I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
* I have freckles.

Family/home life

* I've sworn at my parents.
* I've run away from home.
* I've been kicked out of the house.
* My biological parents are together.
* I have a sibling less than one year old.
* I want to have kids someday.
* I have children.
* I've lost a child.


Embarrassment

* I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
* Disney movies still make me cry.
* I've snorted while laughing.
* I've laughed so hard I've cried.
* I've glued my hand to something.
* I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
* I've had my trousers rip in public.

DEAR GOD ALL OF THEM D:


Health

* I've had stitches.
* I've broken a bone.
* I've had my tonsils removed.
* I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
* I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
* I've had serious surgery.
* I've had chicken pox.

Traveling

* I've driven over 200 miles (320km) in one day. alas yes
* I've been on a plane.
* I've been to North America.
* I've been to Niagara Falls.
* I've been to Japan.
* I've been to Europe.
* I've been to Africa.
* I've been to Australia

Experiences

* I've been lost in my city.
* I've seen a shooting star.
* I've wished on a shooting star.
* I've seen a meteor shower.
* I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
* I've pushed all the buttons in a lift.
* I've been to a casino.
* I've been skydiving
* I've gone skinny dipping.
* I've played spin the bottle.
* I've crashed a car/been in a car crash
* I've been skiing.
* I've been in a play.
* I've met someone in person from the internet.
* I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
* I've seen the northern lights.
* I've played chicken.
* I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
* I've eaten sushi.
* I've been snowboarding.


Relationships

* I'm single.
* I'm in a relationship.
* I'm available.
* I'm engaged.
* I'm married.
* I've gone on a blind date.
* I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
* I have a fear of abandonment
* I've been divorced.
* I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
* I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
* I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
* I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality

* I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
* I've kissed a member of the same gender.
* I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
* I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
* I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
* I am a cuddler.
* I've been kissed in the rain.
* I've had sex outdoors.
* I've hugged a stranger.
* I have kissed a stranger.
* I have had sex with a stranger.


Honesty/crime

* I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
* I have lied to my parents about where I am.
* I am keeping a secret from the world.
* I've cheated while playing a video game.
* I've cheated on a test.
* I've driven through a red light.
* I've been suspended from school.
* I've witnessed a crime.
* I've shoplifted.


Drugs/alcohol

* I've consumed alcohol.
* I have/do smoked cigarettes.
* I have/do smoked pot.
* I regularly drink.
* I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
* I take cough medication when I'm not sick.
* I've done hard drugs.
* I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
* I can't swallow pills.
* I can swallow about five pills at a time no problem.


Random

* I can sing well.
* I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
* I open up to others too easily.
* I watch the news.
* I don't kill bugs.
* I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
* I fucking swear regularly.
* I sing in the shower.
* I am a morning person.
* I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
* I'm a snob about grammar.
* I am a sports fanatic.
* I play with my hair.
* I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
* I love being neat.
* I love spam.
* I've copied more than 30 cds in a day.
* I bake well.
* My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
* I don't know how to shoot a gun.
* I am in love with love.
* I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
* I laugh at my own jokes.
* I eat fast food weekly.
* I believe in ghosts.
* I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
* I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
* I am really ticklish.
* I love white chocolate.
* I bite my nails.
* I play video games.
* I'm good at remembering faces.
* I'm good at remembering names.
* I'm good at remembering dates.
* I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Surprisingly I've done quite a few! :S

Ok so I'd figure I'll update something more interesting again. Just because I have some free time on my hands, though I'm off in about 30 mins to go wading in a river to collect invertebrates! At least its a nice day for it *touch wood*

So what to report? Well I've been busy recently. Lectures have started again for me, and I have several reports to write and hand in next week (good lord I should get started on that), so that should keep me busy. SO looking forward to going home for Easter though, can't wait to see my parents again! Last time I saw them was January. Carly is coming with me to Trondheim though which should be super fun, we shall go sight seeing and i'll show her round :) cant wait!

Classes are going well, I'm really enjoying Paleaobiology, I think mostly because it's rekindled my love of dinosaurs which has persisted since childhood. I still get so excited going to museums. Geek? Hell yes. Last week was weird for me though.
I had a date with Adam last Tuesday which didnt go as well as I was hoping, mostly just because we didnt really get a chance to talk before he had to go do work (he's a 4th year so has a lot on his plate lol). Feeling dejected, it didnt help when he didnt text me for a few days after wards. As i was coming down from my high, my ex Carl got back in touch with me, just as I was starting to feel comfortable moving on from him. I found out it was because he had broken up with his other girlfriend, and I could tell what his intentions were, and I wasn't having any of it. Suffice to see this threw me for a loop and I didn't feel like I could cope with this. So it was probably a good thing Adam didnt text me then! Anyways, got a new phone, new number (if you havent got it then message me lol i sent out loads of texts and might have missed some people) so I texted it to Adam. Lo and behold today he responds that he wants to go to dinner with me again. *phew* There is hope yet! We shall see at least. Carl has dissapeared again, but I bet he's lurking, just waiting for the next moment to swoop in and mess up my life when I'm at my happiest. Who knows.

Housemates are all doing well. Friendships can be tricky things I've realized, and though you may not believe it, university changes people immensely. I never thought it would be this bad but it happens. I havent spoken to Nat for about 3 weeks now which is impressive, and saddening. I guess we just werent as close as I thought we were. But thats ok, such is life and you just have to move forward. 
My room is an absolute tip which I have vowed to tidy tomorrow. Hopefully.

The rats are all in great health, Darwin is now the fattest thing ever which amuses me no end, and the girls are all bright eyes and pains in my butt (they've chewed through a drawer egads) but I love them very much, Hopefully Carly is coming up this weekend, I think she's more excited about seeing them then she is me lol!!  Joking joking. Anyways I best be off to go wade in a river for a while, I'll try and update a bit more soon :)

Been up doing work which I think is laaaaaaaaame. Think its a bunch of shite to be honest but moo I don't care anymore lol. Had my date last night and it was really nice ^_^ though I had forgotten he was so tall :| he was 6"7 easily!! I felt like a midget. Still was lovely and will be seeing him again soon hopefully :D

Got lots of work due in soon, mostly for an assessment on monday, so ill be busy with that over the weekend me thinks. That and this stupid tutorial work which is MONUMENTALLY STUPID . Moo. moooooo. :P My illness has gotten better at least yay! *touch wood* im glad it didnt last too long, im fed up of being ill all the time! And for the random hell of it:


Just because it makes me laugh like an idiot. And this one:


I get the feeling alot of people are in the need of cheering up right now. Yaaaaaay Easter soon! I gave up chocolate for lent and I WANT IT BAAD.


Worried yet? :P I am :P

i am ill again :( NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I have a horrid headache, achy limbs and a sore throat. Sigh. I also have a date on wednesday so this is not good. Must. Get. Better. NOW.

It has occured to me that I haven't written anything interesting for a while. So let me fill you in.

A few weeks ago I went to London to renew my American Passport at the Embassy. I FRICKIN HATE THE EMBASSY THEY CAN ALL GO TO HELL. Enough said about that :P Got my prelimonary results last week and I passed everything this time! :D hurraaaah!!! I get the official ones on wednesday but they never change so its safe to say I'm doing well :) Just have to maintain it over the next semester!
Relationships are a constantly changing aspect of my life it seems. Nat (im sure I've explained this to you- quick recap, shes a moo) doesnt talk to me anymore, nor do I to her. It's sad that she couldn't be mature with me, but I'm alright now and just couldnt care less. Clare and George are going on their 1 year anniversary next month :O le gasp. Gosh has it already been that long? Yikes.

I decided not to persue my crush on Will. He's not mature enough for what I want out of a date, and after I accepted that it's much better to remain friends. Plus, I've always been the one who has gone outside the group and I don't want to break that now! I find it really sad how no-one in my friendship group ever just went on a DATE with someone, they just skipped that and went straight ahead into a relationship. Dating is the funnest part! Plus dating allows you to get to know someone, whereas I get the feeling that Clare and George dont really KNOW each other as well as they think they do. Oh well. It's fun to watch people and judge them :P

And....I'm ill and tired. So thats all for now :P

Well everyone was doing it so I figured I would too!

( Follow the link to certain doom... :P )

This has not gone away. In fact its stronger than ever. DAMMIT.

In other news christmas was great :D I got a new digital camera yay and lots of other awesome things including money :D Which i then bought a new MP3 player with :D Will be flying back to Norway on the 1st, not looking forward to it lol as then I have to start the heavy duty revision that I have been *cough* neglecting lately :( I dont wanna do exams in Jan!! But I guess I can look forward to seeing Will in Jan which I can then start implementing evil plan-get-him-to-realize-how-awesome-I-am. SIGH. I'm not even kidding its on my mind like 24/7. I've never thought about someone this much before....and I wont even get to see him for a month! Damn you brain...daaaaaaamn yoooooooooou! Still no idea how to get around this :(

OO I"M GOING TO A MUSEUM TOMORROW!! :D I'm such a geek I LOOVE museums so much, that an libraries. Don't ask me why I just do. But this isnt just any museum, this is the museum where I saw my first dinosaur! :D heehee :P How were your christmases? xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

This is getting rediculous. I cannot stop thinking about him :S WHY DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG BRAIN?? Oh only 1 and 1/2 years............its probably too late now! Sigh.

Well I'm at Carly's house in Camb at the moment :D which is greatness! Though before I left the battery died again so I had to call out the AA AGAIN and the man told me my battery was very dead so he replaced it :S and I have an MOT on monday waaa so we shall have to see how that goes. And I had to drive through a blizzard which was scary, but I made it here in one piece yay!

Ok but onto my crazy dream. From what I can remember, I was Batman (but still me as in female lol) and I was trying to break into a lunatic asylum where the Joker had taken all the prisoners hostage or something and was murdering them in icky ways. So I broke in (aka I fell through a glass roof) and I had to go from cell to cell working out various puzzles which would ultimately lead me to the Joker and he had someone really important held hostage ( like the presidents daughter or something). And even though I was meant to be Batman in my dream I was still Liz the fangirl so I kept squealing every time I thought I had cracked the code of the puzzle coz it would get me closer to some Jokery goodness (let me note here that I felt bad about it at times as one of the puzzles was me having to rummage through a dead guys intestines to find a bit of paper ewwww).
Anyways I eventually got to the main cell thingy where the Joker was and he had some little girl hostage and I was all like "let her go" and he was like "no make me bwhahahahaha" and then we fought but I lost because i didn't want to hurt something so beautiful :P as punishment he said that he would have to scratch in the answers to all the puzzles into my arm with a knife and started doing that when I saw (and I have no idea why) Keanu Reeves sitting at a table nearby. For some reason I was really excited by this and started yelling I have to have his signature, so Keaneu (how ever you spell it) used the knife to autograph my other arm. The Joker was miffed about this apparently as he suddenly got a pen and started scribbling his name on my other arm and drawing hearts around them :S and there were some bats flapping around as well. After this I somehow broke free ( I think it had something to do with distracting him in a raunchy way but hehe I'm not gonna tell you that :P) rescued the girl and escaped and as I was running away all bloody coz everyone had been scratching my arms it seemed I looked behind me and the Joker was standing on the roof looking really sad :( And then I woke up. WEIRDNESS. I don't even know what brought this on as I havent watched the film/read any fanfic for ages :S this is like the 4/5th time the Joker has appeared in my dreams somehow. Maybe its a sign? Hmmmmmmmmm :P In any case I thought I would share the crazyness with you ;)

Tried starting my car today :( the battery is dead. The thieves must have tried to steal it, but they left a door ajar or something and the battery went kaput. Sigh. It just gets better and better doesnt it?

I have had a very horrible day. It all started out well, I did my essay, was pleased with myself and was about to go attend my Councillor meeting when......

I SAW SOME FU**ING IDIOT HAD BROKEN INTO MY CAR

They smashed the back window in then had a gay old time of pulling out all my papers and going through everything. They went through everything they could get their little greasy chav mitts on but THEY DIDNT STEAL ANYTHING what the hell was the point??? They found my radio but deemed it to crap and left it on the floor. They might have possibly stolen 2p, im not sure. It's such a waste of my time, a frustration and ive been crying my eyes out coz i have too much adrenaline and no where for it to go :( My poor car. And for what? Nothing. I filed a police report but they're not going to catch anyone. And I have to fork out for a new window. MY GOD I HATE PEOPLE SOMETIMES.

But the important thing is they didnt steal anything. I feel rather triumphant actually, like "Neener neener you loser, you went through the effort of breaking into my car and you got noooothing hahahahahahahaha!! Serve you right you poo." But still I feel so shaken. It feels like you've been violated in some way, its really weird. Sigh. Add that to my list of things to do, note to self: fix window.

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her.
I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.
That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost everytime I fought her
Yea, I lost every time.


Love that song...so pretty. I'm making a music compilation cd for my daddy this christmas, and this song makes me think of him back when I was a kid, when I used to sit on the floor, and he'd sit on a chair, strumming along on a guitar that was probably waay out of tune, and he'd sing along. To me my dad was (and still is) the best singer in the world. And this song reminds me of how we used to be :) Gagh I'm homesick again. Its kind of sad how much I miss my parents being around.

I got my mum a silver heart pendant thats split into two, one side says Mother ,and the other says Daughter, so we can each wear one, but it joins to make a heart when you put em back together :D I hope she'll like it. I cant wait, 4 weeks then Im home!!! And believe you me there will be many hugs and kisses! *hugs teddy for now*